Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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