You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
