the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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