you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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