i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
