Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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