idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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