he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
