I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
