If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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