i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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