Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
