i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This house was built for laser tag.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
