I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
