i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
