you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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