Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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