He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
