Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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