Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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