they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
