Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
