I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
