i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
