You work out of a Hotel?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
