So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
