yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
