So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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