I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
