last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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