Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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