well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
