Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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