Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
