Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
