At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
