you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
