As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
