Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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