apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
