it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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