I wish I could teleport
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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