what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
