I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
