My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
