I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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