she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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