took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
sex in a hospital.. check
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
