haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
