At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
