My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
